So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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