How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
