It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
