Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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