Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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