i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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