some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
