I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize