its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
