if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
