my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
