So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
