I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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