thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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