Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize