he thought i was a dude.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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