problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
