We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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