ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
