i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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