i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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