Do you still have your period?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
