my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
