I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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