were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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