I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
