$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
