I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize