But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
