You really coming over, don't trick.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
