One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
