went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
