you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
