i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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