i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
