Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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