You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it glows. i had to have it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
