She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
