True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
