My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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