My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
either way he was missing a nipple.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
