Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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