yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
