i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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