found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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