when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
