Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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