you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
