We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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