gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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