Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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