he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
