Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
