she was so not down for the gang bang
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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