If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
