You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize