My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
