I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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