Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
